So I accidentally cupped a dude's genitals again.
Yes,
again.
See, I was heading into a deli the other morning and after a quick glance over my left shoulder, it appeared that I had a clear path to the entrance. As I made my lane change, some guy attempted to pass me on the left and walked right into my arm which was vigorously swinging back and forth courtesy of my brisk, rush-hour pace.
I ended up with a fistful of fabric and just a smidge of actual pecker. I'm not sure if it was the placement of my hand or an actual lack of girth that yielded that result.
I considered diffusing the awkward situation by saying "Now turn your head and cough" but my victim did not seem the jocular type. He sort of harrumphed and then scampered off to his office cheeks all aflame. So, no hernia jokes for him.
In hindsight, I'm thinking it
was an actual lack of girth.
In other news, I went to my first-ever
Poetry Vs. Comedy Show, presented by the talented
Cheryl B. I swung by to support Cheryl plus two of the evening's performers:
Christine Hamm and
Greg Walloch.
Greg and I met when we performed at last year's
way gay installment of
The WYSIWYG Talent Show. We chit-chatted and got caught up and I told him about
the acting class I took a few months back. I even tooted my own horn a bit about my success with the various improv exercises we had to do.
As if on cue, Cheryl swooped in and asked me if I'd like to be one of the judges in the show. Instant panic on my part.
"Um, will I have say things out loud?" I asked. Seriously, I'm not sure how I even managed the question since all the moisture in my mouth had dried up. I get crazy cotton mouth when I'm nervous, you see.
I was informed that, yes, I would actually have to, you know, speak and stuff. The cotton mouth was joined by a major knot in my belly. Yet, despite the crippling fear, I agreed and took my seat next to the two other judges (both hilarious, by the way) and got down to the business of passing judgment on others.
And I had a great time doing it! I even managed to rattle off a few comments along with my scores. Although, there was one time that my mind went blank and I sort of just nose-breathed into the mic. 'Cause I'm all sorts of smooth like that. So much for my touted improv technique.
The PVC show is awesome and I seriously suggest you all go to the next one. Check out the
PVC site to find out more about upcoming shows.
Thanks!
Labels: acting, hand jobs, poetry, shameless plugs
