i'm 3... and a day!

Once again, I'm at least a day late kissing my own ass... What am I going on about, you ask?! Ham & Cheese on Wry turned 3 yesterday! This marks the third straight year where I forgot to acknowledge my special day. It's become a tradition, really.

Back on April 24, 2004, I launched this here thingy completely unaware of where it would take me. The Lovely Jess encouraged me to start a blog and I distinctly remember saying, "What the hell would I ever write about?!"

Clearly, I overcame that bit of incredulity and managed to figure out enough things to say to fill up a few years worth of archives. Some of it's good, some of it not so good. There's a lot in there that I'm proud of, if I may be so bold. With some of the lesser stuff, I used to go through and delete things that I didn't feel aged well but I've since stopped doing that. It's a record of where I was at the time. It's another tick on the measuring stick of my life and helps me compare and contrast my progress. So it stays and it reminds me to do better.

Speaking of blog birthdays, Dorothy Surrenders celebrated her first year on the same day as me. Great minds... uh, set up Blogger templates on the same day (albeit two years apart). Dorothy's blog is excellent stuff and if you're not reading it, I suggest you hightail it over there and start now.

And while I'm at, go wish my blog mama, The Lovely Jess, a happy anniversary as well. Her blog, Blind Cavefish, turned four earlier this month. So go over and say happy anniversary right now. Go on. Do it.

Wow, I've become a real bossy boots in my third year. I kinda like it.

Thanks again for reading!

Love and crap,
Curly

the terrible twos

Believe it or not, Ham & Cheese on Wry just turned 2! And just like last year, I totally missed my actual anniversary (April 24). It's good to see that my tardiness stays consistent from year-to-year, if nothing else...

I'll spare you a Top 10 list nor will I wax poetic about the past two years. I'll save that shit for the end of the calendar year. Maybe.

Since I'm still very much a baby in the blogging world, I present to you some standard 2-year-old developmental milestones (source: BabyCenter). Let's see how I size up, shall we?

:: Can name at least six body parts on a doll
Yes but I tend to ignore clinical terms in favor of the likes of cabesa, pie hole, gams, kiester, tootsies, cooter, snatch, backside, knockers and jugs.

:: Half of speech is understandable
I'd say a quarter of my speech is more accurate.

:: Can make short sentences
Word. I excel at run-on sentences too. Check the archives.

:: Starts talking about self
Um, I've been doing that since the get go. Say, does this mean I'm totally advanced or just really self-absorbed?

:: Can arrange things in categories
I can categorize things like it's my job however Blogger has yet to provide this functionality. And I'm too lazy to switch over to TypePad or whatever. Deal.

:: Can walk down stairs
Most of the time. Falling down stairs has never been a problem. I'm quite good at it.

:: Begins to understand abstract concepts like sooner and later
I understand these concepts but I just choose to ignore them.

:: Becomes attuned to gender differences
Ain't that the truth. Check the archives.

:: Learns to jump
Yes, and I have the strained hamstring to prove it.

Thank you all for reading and commenting. To say that this site has changed my life would be a SEVERE understatement. Thanks for being a part of it. Okay, enough with the schmoopie stuff. Bring on the anniversary swag!

and now is zee time when...

Ever the tardy one, I totally missed my one-year blog anniversary! I started this here ridiculous blog on April 24, 2004. At the time, the site was blue and yellow and had blogspot in the URL but for the most part, not much else has changed. I'm still a wise ass who writes about TV, online dating, Al Roker-inspired rancor and my beloved Scottish/Irish family.

I'm a bit more confident now in my writing but I think the tone has stayed the same. I won't dare say it's matured because, well, that's not what this blog is about. It's a workout for my ego. I get to be foul-mouthed, self-absorbed, shrill, shallow and all of that other fun stuff without explanation or apology. I'm allowed to trumpet -- without shame -- my guilty pleasures and address them with the intensity and enthusiasm others reserve for politics and crap like that. I revel in being ridiculous and overwrought for comedic effect. That shit is fun. And I'm delighted that my dopey posts have drawn an audience and wonder of all wonders, a BoB Award nomination.

I must offer up special thanks and a "big big love" to The Lovely Jessica. You can either thank or reprimand her for inspiring me to start this here blog.

This has been enormously entertaining and therapeutic for me so I'm thankful and grateful that you all take the time to read me daily, weekly, once in a blue moon or what have you. And, now, if you'll indulge me further, I'm going to highlight a few of my early posts that languished in obscurity...

1. Fear and Loathing in South Amboy
2. Hear Ye, Hear Ye
3. Ordinary People
4. Mum's Messages Part One
5. Mum's Messages, Part Deux
6. If It's Not Scottish...
7. My Mum
8. Dad's Turn
9. The First in a Long Line of Niece Stories
10. Ho, Ho, Ho

Big wet kisses,
Curly