dry ham & moldy cheese on stale wry

In years past, I've gone through my archives at the end of the year and posted select links from each month. I'm not going to do that this year because, well, the pickings are slim. I haven't had a lot of time to devote to my site this past year. My full-time job is a major time suck. I've also been doing a significant amount of freelancing to help pay for some improvements to The Tiny Wee Studio.

But time is not the only problem here. I haven't had the motivation. I have a lot of ideas swirling around in my head but I think I need a different outlet for them, perhaps one that is a bit more lucrative than this non-profit venture.

The Lovely Jess and I have been talking about writing a screenplay for ages. We worked on it a bit but mostly, we talked about it. Now I want to do more than just talk. I want to write the damn thing and, with any luck, sell it. I'll concentrate on the writing part first though.

So, this isn't goodbye because I'm sure the minute I officially pull the plug on the blog, I'll have a million things to say and then won't I feel silly?! So, for now, I'm taking a breather. One could argue that I've been taking a breather for the past several months and while that may be true, there is one major difference now -- I will no longer feel all guilty about it.

In the meantime, help yourselves to the archives. I also have a very looooooooong BlogRoll loaded with good stuff. Click around!

I'll be back soon but, for now...

Happy New Year!

flashback

Can you imagine my horror when I took a gander at my baby niece and caught her doing this?

Traumatizing, I tell you. Traumatizing.

Confused? Click here.

merry christmas!

I'm off to spend Christmas with the McDimples. One of the activities we'll be partaking in is watching Christmas Eve on Sesame Street tomorrow. Last year, my nephew sat on my lap rapt in attention. This year he's much more feisty so there are no guarantees we'll watch it uninterrupted but I'll sure as hell try. Thanks to the wonder that is YouTube, you too can share in the awesomeness of this holiday special:

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

Merry Christmas to all! Back soon.

Love,
Curly

jingle bells and crap

Hoo lawdy, it's been a long time since I posted. Sorry about that. Work has been utterly crazy lately. On the upside, I received a bonus for all my hard work. I'm also on vacation this week. I finally managed to get caught up on sleep and put a dent in my Christmas shopping. I still have a fair amount to do but the bulk of it is taken care of.

Let's see... what else? Oh, I went to a Christmas party at my younger sister's place and ended up hurling in the Path station afterwards. A sure sign that a good time was had. You know, up until the puking. But damn, I felt better afterwards.

On a more serious note, Best Friend Since Kindergarten is going through the emotional wringer right now. A good portion of my time has been spent fielding her phone calls and text messages to help her through a rough time. I can't and won't get into the specifics because it's her story to tell, not mine, but, while it's no burden whatsoever to support a friend, it's really taking an emotional toll. I simply cannot stop thinking about her.

It's sometimes hard to find the right words so I just listen without prejudice and try my best to give her helpful, honest encouragement and support. One of the bits of advice I gave her is to do what I did here -- write it out. She doesn't have a blog nor do I expect her to start one but she seemed open to the idea of sitting down and writing down her story. Here's hoping her experience is as helpful and therapeutic as mine.

In other news, my other blog, American Midol, is up and running again in anticipation of the new season (starts January 15). Other than updating the season premiere graphic, I haven't done a damn thing over there. All credit goes to my talented co-bloggers. Speaking of which, Melissa McGee, a frequent commenter here has joined our ranks over at Midol and we are beyond elated. She's a clever broad, that Melissa McGee.

Okay, I need to split but I do promise to write again before Christmas. Here are some holiday-themed posts to hold you over until then:

:: They Do Know... They Just Don't Care

:: The Alan Alda Sensitivity Project: Holiday Edition

:: 10 Things I Can Be Sure of over the Holidays

:: Season Greetings from Curly and The Hoff

:: Kipper

i'm all lost in the supermarket

I suffer from a syndrome that, to my knowledge, has yet to be tackled by any of the reputable medical journals. This affliction really only has one symptom so perhaps that's why it's been ignored by the health community.

The one and only indicator of this disease? Instant and complete amnesia upon entering retail establishments.

Honest to God, the minute I set foot into a place of business where goods are available for purchase, I immediately forget what necessary item(s) inspired the trip. Seriously, if you encounter me at the supermarket, I'm usually sporting one of two expressions: 1) pissed off beyond belief or 2) befuddled. Sometimes both at the same time. It's a skill, really.

Actually, now that I think about it, this may not be a problem with me and my feeble memory at all. Perhaps, it's yet another diabolical scheme by the retail industry at large. After all, the store's color scheme, product display, song selection, etc., are all an orchestrated and deliberate attempt by the corporate offices to entice consumers to spend more money.

In other words, there is some sinister, psychological marketing trickery behind the muzak version of Matthew Wilder's "Break My Stride" pumping through the sound system that compels you, the unwitting customer, to buy lots and lots o' crap you don't need.

Given that, I am certain the powers-that-be have many more similarly underhanded tactics up their sleeves. In fact, I have a theory that those standing anti-theft devices poised at the entrances/exits of stores are actually memory-erasing mechanisms. In mere seconds, they effectively obliterate memorized shopping lists to encourage expensive and impractical impulse purchases.

For example, you walk into CVS with the intention of buying toothpaste and deodorant. All knowledge of these must-have items is lost upon passing through the theft detector thingamabobs. Because, really, is there any other explanation for exiting the store sans toothpaste and deodorant but stocked to the gills with Bumble & Bumble's Sumo Wax, a brand new set of makeup brushes, nail strengthening lotion, a copy of US Weekly and those Danish butter cookies that come in a metal tin? I think not.

Now I don't really like to dabble in conspiracy theories but I think there's something to this one. However, at this point, you may be wondering why, if my memory is so bad and/or the victim of a massive capitalist plot, I don't just, you know, write things down. It's a valid question, I suppose. But I encourage you to a) stop looking for illogical behavior and/or inconsistencies in one of my dumb blog posts and b) reread the opening paragraph about my whole "I'm so forgetful" syndrome thing. It extends to my behavior prior to entering the store, you see. I cannot tell you how many times I've written up a comprehensive shopping list only to leave it at home.

However, I think I may have conquered that problem today. With the help of my handy dandy camera phone, I snapped a photo of the ongoing shopping list I maintain on a dry-erase board on my fridge. Behold:

I am pleased to report that I just returned from a trip to the Key Food with all of the items on this list. I flipped open my phone, consulted the photo of the shopping list and made my purchases accordingly. Early onset senility and corporate greed be damned! Although, I can't quite figure out if this idea makes me brilliant or just really lazy. No matter, it worked!

Kindly feel free to steal this tip. And, now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to stuff my face with some Danish butter cookies...