ooh, ooh that smell

In case you haven't heard, New York City smelled like a big ol' fart this morning.

I will now pause for those of you who feel the need to make the obvious "How is today different from any other day?" joke...

Got that out of your system? Feel better now? Good, let's move on.

I know a lot of people were all concerned and inconvenienced by the mysterious stank but it kind of worked out well for me. I got to work from home! And have my cab ride to Brooklyn expensed! And I was able to put on elastic-waist pants and devour two Snickers Nutcrackers (mmm... 50% off all Christmas candy at Rite Aid) without any skinny bitches casting me disapproving glances!

Um, perhaps I've said too much...

Today's events also provided some amusement for people such as myself who enjoy the occasional bit of fart, poop and let's-blame-it-on-Jersey humor. I've been giggling all day long. For example, while watching NY-1's coverage, I actually heard our illustrious mayor utter the phrase "until this gas passes." I even rewound my DVR to make sure I wasn't imagining it. I wasn't! Even worse, he was reading from a prepared statement!

Uh, did anyone proofread that for you, Mike?