realizations and a recap
A quickie guide to my weekend...
1. Despite my Scottish heritage and the fact that I'm, like, a lesbian and stuff, I have NO aptitude for the game of golf whatsoever. For Father's Day, my sister gave my Dad this thing so that he can practice chipping the ball in the backyard. I'm athletic and can usually pick up a sport quite easily so I grabbed the chipper (is that what it's called?) and took a few swings. Let's see... I knocked one clear over the fence, sent a bunch of balls skidding past the target into a patch of Impatiens and launched the rest over near the compost bin in the far corner of the yard. I did not enjoy retrieving those. So, yes, it's safe to say that I suck at golf. Yet another stereotype smashed.
2. Christian Bale has a fucked-up grill.
3. My 10-month-old nephew (Wee Man) is babbling up a storm these days. After a few minutes of trying to place the voice, I realized that his clucks, gurgles, giggles and chirps make him sound just like Baby Smurf. It's uncanny, really.
4. Babies think sneezing is riotously funny. Parents, don't waste money on expensive toys and gadgets for your wee one. Just get a pepper mill and feather and let the fun begin. Seriously, allergies are a real knee-slapper amongst the diapered set.
5. My 6-year-old niece now knows the term "naked Twister" primarily because her dopey aunt couldn't change the radio station in the car fast enough. When asked about its meaning, I feigned ignorance and tried to change the subject. But the niece displayed uncharacteristic patience and focus and managed to figure out the definition on her own. Fortunately, she showed no interest in playing naked Twister. For now.
6. The niece banged on the bathroom door yesterday morning while I was in there getting ready. I pretended not to hear her hollering about "[having] to pooh" or whatever 'cause that's gross and I don't need to deal with that before my first cup of coffee. So I told her to wait her turn in the way that only a self-centered, childless, city-dwelling aunt can. The niece countered with the following statement: "Aunt Curly, you KNOW that I'm impastries."
Impatient, impastries... close enough. Oh and she's taken to calling certain articles of clothing "hideous." I welled up, I did.
1. Despite my Scottish heritage and the fact that I'm, like, a lesbian and stuff, I have NO aptitude for the game of golf whatsoever. For Father's Day, my sister gave my Dad this thing so that he can practice chipping the ball in the backyard. I'm athletic and can usually pick up a sport quite easily so I grabbed the chipper (is that what it's called?) and took a few swings. Let's see... I knocked one clear over the fence, sent a bunch of balls skidding past the target into a patch of Impatiens and launched the rest over near the compost bin in the far corner of the yard. I did not enjoy retrieving those. So, yes, it's safe to say that I suck at golf. Yet another stereotype smashed.
2. Christian Bale has a fucked-up grill.
3. My 10-month-old nephew (Wee Man) is babbling up a storm these days. After a few minutes of trying to place the voice, I realized that his clucks, gurgles, giggles and chirps make him sound just like Baby Smurf. It's uncanny, really.
4. Babies think sneezing is riotously funny. Parents, don't waste money on expensive toys and gadgets for your wee one. Just get a pepper mill and feather and let the fun begin. Seriously, allergies are a real knee-slapper amongst the diapered set.
5. My 6-year-old niece now knows the term "naked Twister" primarily because her dopey aunt couldn't change the radio station in the car fast enough. When asked about its meaning, I feigned ignorance and tried to change the subject. But the niece displayed uncharacteristic patience and focus and managed to figure out the definition on her own. Fortunately, she showed no interest in playing naked Twister. For now.
6. The niece banged on the bathroom door yesterday morning while I was in there getting ready. I pretended not to hear her hollering about "[having] to pooh" or whatever 'cause that's gross and I don't need to deal with that before my first cup of coffee. So I told her to wait her turn in the way that only a self-centered, childless, city-dwelling aunt can. The niece countered with the following statement: "Aunt Curly, you KNOW that I'm impastries."
Impatient, impastries... close enough. Oh and she's taken to calling certain articles of clothing "hideous." I welled up, I did.
Labels: family, niece-isms
posted by curly mcdimple @ 10:20 AM :: permalink :: ::
