the terrible twos

Believe it or not, Ham & Cheese on Wry just turned 2! And just like last year, I totally missed my actual anniversary (April 24). It's good to see that my tardiness stays consistent from year-to-year, if nothing else...

I'll spare you a Top 10 list nor will I wax poetic about the past two years. I'll save that shit for the end of the calendar year. Maybe.

Since I'm still very much a baby in the blogging world, I present to you some standard 2-year-old developmental milestones (source: BabyCenter). Let's see how I size up, shall we?

:: Can name at least six body parts on a doll
Yes but I tend to ignore clinical terms in favor of the likes of cabesa, pie hole, gams, kiester, tootsies, cooter, snatch, backside, knockers and jugs.

:: Half of speech is understandable
I'd say a quarter of my speech is more accurate.

:: Can make short sentences
Word. I excel at run-on sentences too. Check the archives.

:: Starts talking about self
Um, I've been doing that since the get go. Say, does this mean I'm totally advanced or just really self-absorbed?

:: Can arrange things in categories
I can categorize things like it's my job however Blogger has yet to provide this functionality. And I'm too lazy to switch over to TypePad or whatever. Deal.

:: Can walk down stairs
Most of the time. Falling down stairs has never been a problem. I'm quite good at it.

:: Begins to understand abstract concepts like sooner and later
I understand these concepts but I just choose to ignore them.

:: Becomes attuned to gender differences
Ain't that the truth. Check the archives.

:: Learns to jump
Yes, and I have the strained hamstring to prove it.

Thank you all for reading and commenting. To say that this site has changed my life would be a SEVERE understatement. Thanks for being a part of it. Okay, enough with the schmoopie stuff. Bring on the anniversary swag!