on status reports and ice skates

I had every intention of banging out Part Seven last night. No really, I did! I went out for a lovely dinner with some really cool people and arrived home with an energetic buzz that I was going to parlay into enough paragraphs to keep you all sated. 'Course that nifty feeling could have also been the grain alcohol in the stiff margarita I sucked down at Cowgirl...

But I digress. I was all geared up to write the next installment in my schmoopie saga but I got distracted. I saw something and I.could.not.look.away. I was entranced. Was it some unholy specter haunting my abode? Nope. Was it a vision of the Virgin Mary taking shape in the food stuffs in my kitchen? Again, no.

'Twas the sight of Bruce Jenner decked out in Navy whites skating around an ice rink with Tai Babilonia. Yes, my friends, I got sucked into Skating with Celebrities. And I'm not ashamed. Although, I'm a tad regretful because Bruce Jenner's skinny nose is rather nightmarish. Methinks the plastic surgeon was a little unruly with the scalpel. I'm not banking on ever having a restful night's sleep again thanks to his barely-there beak but I don't care! The bad dreams are worth it. Bring on the B-listers in skates!

Oh and speaking of FOX programming, The Lovely Jess brilliantly recaps the first episode of American Idol. It's impossible for me to expand on her insightful take. Please go read it.