have you ever..
Wow, it's been several days since I've written anything. In order to ease myself back into the process, I'm going to start out with something quick and easy. Here's something fun I found over at Sheila's.
Have You Ever...
Smoked a cigarette or tried it:
Uh, yup. Plenty o' times. Straight-up cigarettes in addition to the "funny" ones.
Crashed a friend's car:
Nope.
Stolen a car:
Despite growing up right near Newark, NJ -- the car theft capital of the world -- I never felt the urge to lift someone's ride.
Been dumped:
Yup. I have years of therapy bills and Paxil receipts to prove it.
Shoplifted:
Yes... but nothing major. Actually, I never nicked the items myself. Instead, I hatched the ideas and made my friends do the deed. Just call me the Teflon Curly.
Been fired/laid off:
I was let go from a part-time job once but fortunately, I've always left my full-time gigs willingly. ::knocks wood / turns in a circle three times and spits / says a Novena::
Been in a fist fight:
Never with another girl. As stated here before, I gave some boy an ass-whupping when he hurt my younger sister. I also threw another kid a beatin' or two. He was an annoying pest and I had the full support of the neighborhood kids whenever I whaled on him.
Oh and I accidentally gave a girl a fat lip. I was in first grade and the class was told to line up next to the teacher's desk. I bent down to tie my shoe or pick up my paper or something and when I stood back up, my head bopped some girl in the mouth. I had NO idea she was standing so close and hovering over me when I bent down. So, really, the fat lip was her own damn fault for crawling so far up my ass.
Snuck out of your parent's house:
Nope. My parents never kept me on a short leash so I didn't really have to rebel. I gave them plenty of shit about other stuff but curfew was never really an issue.
Been arrested:
No.
Gone on a blind date:
Yes, and it sucked. There's no real story beyond that. It was just really boring. I actually yawned in the woman's face.
Lied to a friend:
Sadly, yes.
Skipped school:
Like Sheila, I ditched in college but never cut class in high school. The penalty for cutting class in my high school was a week of 7:45am detentions. Skipping a 40-minute class was so not worth five days of waking up at the ass crack of dawn.
Seen someone die:
No.
Been to Canada:
Oui! I've got a bunch of cousins scattered around Ontario, eh.
Been to Mexico:
No.
Eaten sushi:
Of course.
Met someone in person from the internet:
Plenty o' times. See here, here, here, here and here. I also met THE EX through the Internet and many other cool people yet to be blogged about.
Taken pain-killers:
Mmm... hydrocodone.
Had a tea party:
A real one? I don't think so but I'm sure I had plenty of fake ones when I was little.
Cheated while playing a game:
Totally! In grade school, we used to play girls vs. boys tag in the school yard. When I wanted to get from one end of the yard to the other, I used to yell, "Girls are IT!" and the boys closing in on me would then run in the opposite direction. I was like Moses parting the mofo Red Sea. Naturally, as I neared base I'd yell, "SIKE!" It's worth noting the dumb ass boys fell for it EVERY time. Assholes!
Fallen asleep at work:
No, but I've come close.
Used a fake ID:
No, I didn't need one because I mostly went to places where I knew I wouldn't be carded. However, I did give my younger sister permission to duplicate my license and masquerade as me. Ah, lax pre-9/11 security...
Felt an earthquake:
No.
Touched a snake:
I think I did but I've since managed to suppress the memory. The details are quite fuzzy. Perhaps it's a side-effect of the venom...
Been robbed:
Yup. Someone broke into my Manhattan apartment a few years ago and stole my brand-new digital camcorder and a diamond-cut Claddagh ring my aunt gave me. My roommate had a diamond watch, a ruby necklace and some cash stolen. Fortunately the thieves were long gone by the time we got home and discovered the stuff was missing.
Should I ever be called for jury duty, I plan on playing up the emotional distress angle to dissuade defense attorneys from approving me.
Petted a reindeer/goat:
Both... and then promptly scoured my hands.
Won a contest:
Yup. One of my black-and-white photos won honorable mention in the Meadowlands Teen Arts Festival when I was in high school. How many of you can lay claim to the distinct honor of having artwork shown at the Mill Creek Mall in lovely Secaucus, New Jersey? Huh?!
I also won 3rd place in a poster contest trumpeting the importance of good posture. My rendering of a slouching man was a big hit with the local chiropractors.
Been suspended from school:
Nope.
Been in a car accident:
Yes. Some jittery old broad blew a stop sign just as I was entering an intersection. I couldn't stop in time and I clipped the back of her car. No one was hurt but she was given a ticket at the scene and I had to jump through fucking hoops to get the $2,000 worth of damage she caused to my Toyota from her crappy insurance company.
Had braces:
Yup. And a retainer. And bridge work. My grill is 'spensive, yo.
Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night:
Never. I'm lucky if I can get through a couple of scoops of ice cream, nevermind a whole carton. There was a time, however, when I was a big fan of frosting. I used to stick a container in the fridge for a couple of hours and then go at it with a spoon later. Mmm... I think I need to pay a visit to Key Food...
Witnessed a crime:
Yes. I was in the East Village with The Masseuse several years ago. We just had a lovely brunch at Stingy Lulu's and while we were walking along either Second or Third Avenue, we heard a scuffle behind us.
I turned around and saw a homeless man and a young woman playing tug of war with a bicycle tire. She was wearing a helmet so clearly the tire was hers and he lifted it when she was trying to chain up her bike.
She yelled, "Give it back!" and then he grabbed the wheel from her, swung around and smashed it on top of her head. He took off and we ran over to the woman who was bleeding profusely. The Masseuse called the victim's friend (at her request) while I called 911. We stayed with her until the paramedics arrived. Fortunately, her head wound was only superficial. Unfortunately, I'll never forget the sight of that man hitting her. It was truly awful.
Swam in the ocean:
Yup. I prefer pools though. I've been tossed on the shore and had waves crash on my head more than once so I'm respectfully fearful of the ocean. I pretty much go in to cool off and then get right back out. I'm also not a fan of seaweed slapping me in the legs. And even though they're harmless, horseshoe crabs freak me the fuck out.
Sung karaoke:
Once.
Paid for a meal with only coins:
I've definitely paid for breakfast and lunch with coins but never dinner. No one bats an eye when you fork over a pile of quarters for coffee and a bagel or a slice of pizza. The practice is shunned in the later hours of the day as the price of the meal grows exponentially here in NY.
I once bought $2.00 worth of gas with the change I found on the floor, in the seats and ash try in my very first car -- a Plymouth Horizon. Jezebel (as christened by my friends) was running on fumes and would have stalled on the highway if I didn't put something in the tank. I apologized as I handed over the dimes and nickels to the attendant expecting him to be all annoyed. Instead, he laughed and thanked me because he needed the change. So it worked out.
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose:
Indeed. Pepsi, in particular, leaves a long-lasting tingle in one's snout.
Been kissed under mistletoe:
I don't think so.
Crashed a party:
No. I've fibbed about my credentials to get into press events but I've never shown up to a party uninvited.
Worn pearls:
Same answer as the tea party question. As a child, yes, but never seriously as an adult.
Jumped off a bridge:
No.
Ate dog/cat food:
Um, I don't eat meat fit for humans so the chance of me eating Alpo or Nine Lives is really quite slim.
Kissed a mirror:
Probably.
Glued your hand to something:
Apart from the very common fingers-glued-together Krazy Glue mishap, nope.
Done a one-handed cartwheel:
Aw, hells no. I can't even do a two-handed cartwheel. My somersaults are rather suspect too. Mary Lou Retton I am not.
Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours:
Many times and for WAY longer than 6 hours, that's for sure. I think my record is 12 hours. I was in a long-distance relationship at the time, what do you expect?
Didn't take a shower for a week:
Um, I don't think I've ever gone that long. I think the most I've ever gone is about three or four days, but that wasn't by choice. I was in the Appalachians on a youth group trip when I was in high school. The water supply was limited so we were restricted to "bird baths." After days of building, gardening, heavy lifting, etc., we were all good and ripe by the time we got home.
Picked and ate an apple right off the tree:
I don't think so. I don't find myself in orchards all that often and even then, I'm a big fan of washing fruit before eating it.
Been told by a complete stranger that you're hot:
Si.
Have You Ever...
Smoked a cigarette or tried it:
Uh, yup. Plenty o' times. Straight-up cigarettes in addition to the "funny" ones.
Crashed a friend's car:
Nope.
Stolen a car:
Despite growing up right near Newark, NJ -- the car theft capital of the world -- I never felt the urge to lift someone's ride.
Been dumped:
Yup. I have years of therapy bills and Paxil receipts to prove it.
Shoplifted:
Yes... but nothing major. Actually, I never nicked the items myself. Instead, I hatched the ideas and made my friends do the deed. Just call me the Teflon Curly.
Been fired/laid off:
I was let go from a part-time job once but fortunately, I've always left my full-time gigs willingly. ::knocks wood / turns in a circle three times and spits / says a Novena::
Been in a fist fight:
Never with another girl. As stated here before, I gave some boy an ass-whupping when he hurt my younger sister. I also threw another kid a beatin' or two. He was an annoying pest and I had the full support of the neighborhood kids whenever I whaled on him.
Oh and I accidentally gave a girl a fat lip. I was in first grade and the class was told to line up next to the teacher's desk. I bent down to tie my shoe or pick up my paper or something and when I stood back up, my head bopped some girl in the mouth. I had NO idea she was standing so close and hovering over me when I bent down. So, really, the fat lip was her own damn fault for crawling so far up my ass.
Snuck out of your parent's house:
Nope. My parents never kept me on a short leash so I didn't really have to rebel. I gave them plenty of shit about other stuff but curfew was never really an issue.
Been arrested:
No.
Gone on a blind date:
Yes, and it sucked. There's no real story beyond that. It was just really boring. I actually yawned in the woman's face.
Lied to a friend:
Sadly, yes.
Skipped school:
Like Sheila, I ditched in college but never cut class in high school. The penalty for cutting class in my high school was a week of 7:45am detentions. Skipping a 40-minute class was so not worth five days of waking up at the ass crack of dawn.
Seen someone die:
No.
Been to Canada:
Oui! I've got a bunch of cousins scattered around Ontario, eh.
Been to Mexico:
No.
Eaten sushi:
Of course.
Met someone in person from the internet:
Plenty o' times. See here, here, here, here and here. I also met THE EX through the Internet and many other cool people yet to be blogged about.
Taken pain-killers:
Mmm... hydrocodone.
Had a tea party:
A real one? I don't think so but I'm sure I had plenty of fake ones when I was little.
Cheated while playing a game:
Totally! In grade school, we used to play girls vs. boys tag in the school yard. When I wanted to get from one end of the yard to the other, I used to yell, "Girls are IT!" and the boys closing in on me would then run in the opposite direction. I was like Moses parting the mofo Red Sea. Naturally, as I neared base I'd yell, "SIKE!" It's worth noting the dumb ass boys fell for it EVERY time. Assholes!
Fallen asleep at work:
No, but I've come close.
Used a fake ID:
No, I didn't need one because I mostly went to places where I knew I wouldn't be carded. However, I did give my younger sister permission to duplicate my license and masquerade as me. Ah, lax pre-9/11 security...
Felt an earthquake:
No.
Touched a snake:
I think I did but I've since managed to suppress the memory. The details are quite fuzzy. Perhaps it's a side-effect of the venom...
Been robbed:
Yup. Someone broke into my Manhattan apartment a few years ago and stole my brand-new digital camcorder and a diamond-cut Claddagh ring my aunt gave me. My roommate had a diamond watch, a ruby necklace and some cash stolen. Fortunately the thieves were long gone by the time we got home and discovered the stuff was missing.
Should I ever be called for jury duty, I plan on playing up the emotional distress angle to dissuade defense attorneys from approving me.
Petted a reindeer/goat:
Both... and then promptly scoured my hands.
Won a contest:
Yup. One of my black-and-white photos won honorable mention in the Meadowlands Teen Arts Festival when I was in high school. How many of you can lay claim to the distinct honor of having artwork shown at the Mill Creek Mall in lovely Secaucus, New Jersey? Huh?!
I also won 3rd place in a poster contest trumpeting the importance of good posture. My rendering of a slouching man was a big hit with the local chiropractors.
Been suspended from school:
Nope.
Been in a car accident:
Yes. Some jittery old broad blew a stop sign just as I was entering an intersection. I couldn't stop in time and I clipped the back of her car. No one was hurt but she was given a ticket at the scene and I had to jump through fucking hoops to get the $2,000 worth of damage she caused to my Toyota from her crappy insurance company.
Had braces:
Yup. And a retainer. And bridge work. My grill is 'spensive, yo.
Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night:
Never. I'm lucky if I can get through a couple of scoops of ice cream, nevermind a whole carton. There was a time, however, when I was a big fan of frosting. I used to stick a container in the fridge for a couple of hours and then go at it with a spoon later. Mmm... I think I need to pay a visit to Key Food...
Witnessed a crime:
Yes. I was in the East Village with The Masseuse several years ago. We just had a lovely brunch at Stingy Lulu's and while we were walking along either Second or Third Avenue, we heard a scuffle behind us.
I turned around and saw a homeless man and a young woman playing tug of war with a bicycle tire. She was wearing a helmet so clearly the tire was hers and he lifted it when she was trying to chain up her bike.
She yelled, "Give it back!" and then he grabbed the wheel from her, swung around and smashed it on top of her head. He took off and we ran over to the woman who was bleeding profusely. The Masseuse called the victim's friend (at her request) while I called 911. We stayed with her until the paramedics arrived. Fortunately, her head wound was only superficial. Unfortunately, I'll never forget the sight of that man hitting her. It was truly awful.
Swam in the ocean:
Yup. I prefer pools though. I've been tossed on the shore and had waves crash on my head more than once so I'm respectfully fearful of the ocean. I pretty much go in to cool off and then get right back out. I'm also not a fan of seaweed slapping me in the legs. And even though they're harmless, horseshoe crabs freak me the fuck out.
Sung karaoke:
Once.
Paid for a meal with only coins:
I've definitely paid for breakfast and lunch with coins but never dinner. No one bats an eye when you fork over a pile of quarters for coffee and a bagel or a slice of pizza. The practice is shunned in the later hours of the day as the price of the meal grows exponentially here in NY.
I once bought $2.00 worth of gas with the change I found on the floor, in the seats and ash try in my very first car -- a Plymouth Horizon. Jezebel (as christened by my friends) was running on fumes and would have stalled on the highway if I didn't put something in the tank. I apologized as I handed over the dimes and nickels to the attendant expecting him to be all annoyed. Instead, he laughed and thanked me because he needed the change. So it worked out.
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose:
Indeed. Pepsi, in particular, leaves a long-lasting tingle in one's snout.
Been kissed under mistletoe:
I don't think so.
Crashed a party:
No. I've fibbed about my credentials to get into press events but I've never shown up to a party uninvited.
Worn pearls:
Same answer as the tea party question. As a child, yes, but never seriously as an adult.
Jumped off a bridge:
No.
Ate dog/cat food:
Um, I don't eat meat fit for humans so the chance of me eating Alpo or Nine Lives is really quite slim.
Kissed a mirror:
Probably.
Glued your hand to something:
Apart from the very common fingers-glued-together Krazy Glue mishap, nope.
Done a one-handed cartwheel:
Aw, hells no. I can't even do a two-handed cartwheel. My somersaults are rather suspect too. Mary Lou Retton I am not.
Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours:
Many times and for WAY longer than 6 hours, that's for sure. I think my record is 12 hours. I was in a long-distance relationship at the time, what do you expect?
Didn't take a shower for a week:
Um, I don't think I've ever gone that long. I think the most I've ever gone is about three or four days, but that wasn't by choice. I was in the Appalachians on a youth group trip when I was in high school. The water supply was limited so we were restricted to "bird baths." After days of building, gardening, heavy lifting, etc., we were all good and ripe by the time we got home.
Picked and ate an apple right off the tree:
I don't think so. I don't find myself in orchards all that often and even then, I'm a big fan of washing fruit before eating it.
Been told by a complete stranger that you're hot:
Si.
Labels: holidays, memes, new jersey
posted by curly mcdimple @ 3:15 PM :: permalink :: ::
