all the small things, part 1

My thoughts this week are scattered and I'm having a hard time writing a post on one topic. So what better time than now to write up a numbered list that allows for -- and encourages -- deviation from a single subject? (FYI, I'm taking a cue from those 100 Things About Me lists I've seen on countless sites.) However, there's no way I have the attention span to compile such a list in one sitting or the patience to wait until 100 before publishing so I'm going to do it in chunks of 10.

Kindly nag my ass if weeks go by and numbers 11-100 have not been posted. However, please note that I'm making an effort to not rehash some of the quirks I've already divulged in other posts (here and here). In other words, allow me some time to uncover new hang-ups and observations. I'm a fussy neurotic type so I don't imagine it will take long.

And now in truly random order, here are the first 10 things you may or may not know about moi:

1. I'm tall. I can almost always reach things on the top shelf at stores without asking for help.

2. I can deftly sneak away from the pile of rubble that ensues when I really should have asked for help at the store but didn't. If broken glass is involved, I'll fess up.

3. I do a mean Linda Richman impersonation. The fact that I already say "cawfee" helps considerably.

4. I'm a cartoon-like Good Samaritan. I actually helped an old lady cross the street one time. On another occasion, I assisted an old lady in stepping over a puddle. However, I did not drape my jacket over the puddle so I lose some points there.

5. The term "active cultures" on food labels concerns me. As such, I have to force myself to eat yogurt. I'll eat only one kind though -- Dannon La Creme Vanilla. Any additional ingredients (i.e. sliced banana, raisins, wheat germ, etc.) must be added by me or another person in my presence. I find that Fruit on the Bottom shit to be absolutely repugnant.

6. Even though I'm Scottish, I've never seen Braveheart. Shut up, it's on my Netflix queue.

7. I was nominated for class president in the third grade and lost to the most popular boy in the class. I think my bid was unsuccessful because the text of my campaign speech was quite fiery and pro-woman while my delivery was decidedly NOT. Public speaking is not now nor has it ever been my forte.

8. I've never broken a bone. ::knock wood:: I did, however, fuck up my left knee sliding into home during a softball game. I was waved home to break the tie but the catcher charged as I was sliding and we got all tangled up and I ended up spraining my knee (and being tagged out). I had to have an MRI and everything. To this day, walking down stairs is painful. Upside? I can always tell when it's going to rain.

9. I dislike the taste and smell of wintergreen candy, toothpaste, mouthwash, what have you. I'm all about the peppermint. Spearmint comes in a distant second.

10. My first real crush was on a boy I met in the Catskills. We went to the same campground every summer. For years we were friends who played Marco Polo and Manhunt and had so much fun together. It was fabulous up until that summer when I started feeling funny about him. I was constantly daydreaming about him being my boyfriend... and then I saw it. He was slow-dancing with a girl at a party! OUCH. I got over it eventually but oh, how it hurt at the time!

Imagine my surprise years later when I turned on E! and discovered that he grew up to become Gorilla, the intern of limited intelligence on The Howard Stern Show. For the record, I have no regrets that this crush didn't pan out.

Numbers 11-20
Numbers 21-30
Numbers 31-40