normal triglycerides: hot or not?

At the risk of sounding immodest, I'm beating the girls off with a stick these days, yo. In the past week or so, I've stepped up my efforts, reclaimed a bit of my old mojo and well... things are looking up.

Some of the "resumes" I've received from interested parties seem promising and others... um, perhaps it's just better if I provide an excerpt from one email:

"I have low cholesterol and great blood pressure."

Well if THAT don't inspire a tingle in the old cooch, I don't know what does...

W.T.F?!? Call me overly fussy but that's so NOT the appropriate response to my appeal for... well, ass, if I'm being honest. If I was seeking a candidate to cheat on a stress test for me or something, maybe I'd give this chick a call.

Unless that's her roundabout way of saying she's got a lot of stamina in the sack, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to make of this bit of info. In other words, what's in it for me? Oh, I know! She'll live a long, healthy life... in which to irritate and annoy me! She also used the word "sporty" which to me suggests that she wears a visor and umps softball games on the weekends. Um... NEXT!