retraction, please

I always loves me some good gossip and embarrassing celeb photos courtesy of the otherwise brilliant denizens of dish, Rush & Molloy. However, I take major exception to a bit they ran in today's Daily News. Behold...

Caption: NICE ARM, MR. ACTION HERO: We wouldn't believe it if we didn't see it: Bruce Willis throws like a girl. Rumors of a later squealing slapfight with another Saint-Tropez beachgoer were completely false. (Daily News, August 3, 2005)

Throws like a girl?!?!?! All I have to say is that THIS girl can launch a fucking rocket FROM THE FUCKING SQUAT POSITION behind fucking home plate into deep fucking center field. Furthermore, silly boys have tried testing this girl's arm only to be gunned down in brutal and humiliating fashion.

Now, I realize I have super powers when it comes to softball as I'm of the lesbian persuasion but I know plenty o' straight girls who pack similar heat. So I'm putting you all on notice: Bruce Willis throws like a fucktard boy, NOT a girl. Capiche? You better or I'll beat you with my freakishly strong GIRL arm.