hi-yahhhhhhh!

I'm tres excited because I just enrolled in an introductory training class at SEIDO Karate. I want to whip my ass into shape... and learn how to bust shit up. You know, like bricks, wooden planks, noses, that sort of thing. And I guess that whole business of learning how to focus and be disciplined will come in handy as I'm driven to distraction quite easily and at lightening speed, let me tell you.

I foresee many Karate Kid references in my future. Although, since I can barely eat with the things, I can safely say that I will not try to capture flies with chopsticks. I may try macking on Elisabeth Shue though. If that husband of hers gives me shit, I'll just have to crane kick him.

Um, I think maybe I'm missing the point of martial arts. Watch me become the William Zabka type. I'll form a gang and pick on people and resort to dirty tactics and cheating during competitions and people will be rooting for my downfall. Actually, that's kinda hot...

I just have to say that Billy Zabka was really typecast back in the 80s. He always played a monumental dick (see his portrayal of Greg, the bully whose preferred form of torture was the atomic wedgie, in Just One of the Guys and his turn as Audrey's loutish boyfriend in European Vacation as proof). But! As it turns out, Billy was a mild-mannered Bible thumper in real life. I remember reading that in like Tiger Beat or Bop! or whatever back in the day and just being blown away. Who knew teen rags were capable of such shocking exposés?