country doctor

Aww! Doc Baker from Little House on the Prairie passed away. I had a wee crush on Doc Baker when I was little. Oh shut up! It's not like I said I had it bad for Reverend Alden. Doc Baker was quite handsome with his sharp features and his generous spirit. He let his patients pay him with apples, for fuck's sake. If I tried forking over a bushel to my primary care physician, I'd be given the boot but good.

And even though he claimed to be just a country doctor, the man bravely battled through some very tough pregnancies. Little known fact: The reason that I don't want kids has nothing to do with my being a big old lesbo. Rather, it's because I was traumatized as a child by the wailing, sweating, howling and sheer torture that every pregnant woman on Little House endured. Granted, there have been advancements in medicine since the days of Laura Ingalls but still. Between one horrific child birth after another on that program and every 70s and 80s sitcom that relied on the "woman gives birth in an elevator that is stuck between floors" plot device, I wanted no part of that baby business. I have enough problems as it is so you'll forgive me if I don't want to be shooting large objects out my wee beaver in a fucking broken elevator, no less!

Jesus, leave it to me to use the word "beaver" in a eulogy. Goodbye, Doc Baker.

Photo: Courtesy of Irwin Allen News Network