whoa, nellies!

Last night I attended one of my new favorite things in the whole wide world -- The WYSIWYG Talent Show. And I had quite the time. And just like the last one, I made a complete and total spectacle of myself with my less than dainty laughter.

If you present me with some funny shit, I don't titter politely. I find it near impossible to delicately chortle to myself. My laugh is booming. People usually turn around to locate its source. Sometimes it infects them and others.... well, let's just say that I've been given the stink eye more than once. Sheesh. Engage in an ill-timed fit of loud, uncontrollable laughter during Good Friday Mass one time and suddenly you're a bigger douche than Judas.

Anyhoo, my laugh is much like a snowball rolling down a hill -- it gathers mass and momentum quickly and it can AND WILL flatten all in its path. Sometimes it comes out like a burst of dynamite and others, I emit a giggle that, at first, is well within the bounds of respectability and social decorum. But then I chew on the joke a little bit and it becomes increasingly funny to me and, well, that's when I lose my shit.

You see, I possess the ability (or defect) to copy and paste a well-told anecdote, sight gag or pratfall into the forefront of my memory and keep it there, fully intact, for quite some time. It loses none of its luster or quality in the transfer. I can then rewind and relive the moment repeatedly. And with each replay, a new cycle of raucous laughter begins. The volume increases. I make inhuman noises. My feet come off the floor. My eyes water. I become congested. I cover my entire face in my hands in an attempt to suffocate the caterwauling. But my laugh is like motherfucking Houdini and it will not and cannot be contained.

So yeah, that's kinda what happened last night. As the talented roster of performers regaled us with their howlingly funny tales of Extremely Gay Gayness, I responded in kind with an array of wheezy guffaws and hysterical yelps. I constantly mopped the tears from eyes and worked hard to regain my composure when everyone else did the appropriate thing and simmered down and listened intently. Me? I was gone! I filled the performance space with my ridiculous mixture of sounds.

I honestly don't remember when I laughed that hard. Excellent work, everyone! And thank you for the giggles, or in my case, the disturbing-does-that-chick-need-an-ambulance? cackling. And a special nod to one of my favorite gay boy bloggers ever, Joe.My.God. You were outstanding once again! Oh and Dan Fishback, you are a total find. I look forward to checking out more of your work.

For those of you in the NYC area, get your asses to one of these fabulous events. Even if you're not in the tri-state, make the trip! You will not be disappointed. As an added incentive, The Lovely Jess will be rocking the mic at next month's show (July 19, 2005). I'm already getting all "Sing out, Louise!" on her with my heavy-handed tactics and stage-motherly advice.

Thanks again for a great time, WYSIWYGers! See you next month!