not so rosie review

So Rosie O'Donnell was on the telly last night in the positively dreadful Riding the Bus with my Sister. A big thank you to Sheila for reminding me to watch this monstrosity. Extra thanks for making me wheeze with your real-time recap.

I planned to write a review of the film but really, it left me quite speechless. So, since Rosie fancies herself a poet on her ridiculously stupid blog, I'll offer my thoughts in equally shitty fashion.

Dim the lights and make with the bongo playing, please...

Oh Rosie, Oh Rosie, Oh Rosie O
Last night's movie sucked major ass, yo

This project of yours with Ms. Andie McDowell
Caused quite the eruption deep down in my bowel

What on earth were you thinking, you big chubby dyke?
That this is the shit Emmy voters like?

In truth, your performance was crap and really quite dorky
For two whole hours I cringed and longed for sweet Corky

You shrieked and screamed and threw quite the fit
You think it's art and I think it's shit

Please go away and stopping making news
Might I suggest an Olivia Cruise?

Thank you.