my unhealthy obsession with statcounter

Writing this here blog and reading your comments is a ton of fun. Ain't no doubt about that. However, I think I derive the most pleasure from checking my traffic stats. And lawdy, do I search those logs like a crack fiend! StatCounter's Keyword Analysis in particular is where I spend a good deal of my time. It's just a treasure trove of comedy as far as I'm concerned. It's also given me a business idea -- develop and teach a course on effective search techniques. I have no idea how some of these people find anything using their current method, or lack thereof.

To this day, I think my favorite is still the person from Australia who inquired about a comeback to what appears to be a scathing insult Down Under -- being called a "freckle fart." Who knew? I genuinely hope that after conducting this online research, he/she was able to answer back with a real biting and corrosive retort. Granted, no matter how stinging the rebuke, its intensity would be dulled by the late timing. However, equal parts piss and vinegar combined with a pitch-perfect delivery can sometimes compensate for a less-than-swift reply.

Someone else found my site by Googling, and I quote, "getting paddled, or spanked on your bare ass.com." Now I have no issue with getting one's bum whacked for pleasure but my question is this -- did this person actually think that maybe this was a valid URL? I may be revealing my geekery here but um... DUH. And because I'm well, weird, I informed Jess of my rather unique unique visitor and then sent her a couple of my own awkwardly-constructed fake URLs based loosely on my site's keyword searches. A random sampling:

http://www.people fucking sheep while wearing, for example, maroon leggings and a fur-lined poncho.org

http://www.skid marks on undies; "pantaloons" where can I get them?.gov

http://www.fashion for butches - ha ha ha ha.com

Feel free to add your own. Or not.

Another visitor asked a search engine, "What do you call someone overly fond of cheese?" I don't know why Yahoo thought my blog was a valid response but whatevs. Is there even a clinical term for loving cheese too much? I honestly have no idea. Kindly inform me if this term has been coined. If not, feel free to make up something up. I heart and support the creation of Sniglets.

In other traffic news, I surpassed 20,000 page visits this week. And only about 10K of those came from moi obsessively checking for new comments. Thanks for visiting!