on punctuation and plush toys...
Today I received a piece of spam with the following subject line:
Next up: Sheila has a very a lively thread about plushies going on over at her blog. It didn't start out that way but somehow talk of a Cuddle Party descended into a discussion about people who like to hump stuffed animals (or whatever the hell they do with them).
On a somewhat related note, is it just me or are those Build-a-Bear commercials the weirdest fucking things ever? I think they easily replace the "My Girl"-singing dickheads from the Little Debbie commercials as the most irritating ads on the air.
In the Build-a-Bear spot, a rather jittery-looking girl is riding in a car with her mother. The girl is clutching a teddy bear for dear life and the mother asks if she's nervous. This dramatic setup led me to believe that perhaps the poor wee girl was about to undergo invasive surgery or maybe meet her birth mother for the first time. However, it turns out she's on her way to a ballet recital. It's rather incongruous if you ask moi, but whatever.
So then the camera cuts to the girl getting ready to perform with her dance troupe. And just as the stage fright is about to set in, she mashes her eyes closed and envisions an empty auditorium save for her special teddy bear in the front row. Doing so infuses her with enough courage and self-esteem to get through the routine with flying colors.
WTF?!?!?! Is this healthy behavior? No, child, don't look to your HUMAN mother for support and strength. Instead, reach out to a inanimate sack of allergens wearing a frilly dress. Hmmm... it looks to me like this little girl is a plushie in the making! This is where it starts, people.
And this is where I'll stop. Good night!
Sexy and lovely mature mom's screw the guys!What does it say about me that the thing that struck me most is the misuse of the apostrophe? Clearly, in my warped mind, a mother can fuck her kid's friends 'till the cows come home as long as the sentence describing it is punctuated properly. Somehow I don't think this is what my 7th grade teacher, Sister Eileen, envisioned when she trumpeted the importance of good grammar above all else.
Next up: Sheila has a very a lively thread about plushies going on over at her blog. It didn't start out that way but somehow talk of a Cuddle Party descended into a discussion about people who like to hump stuffed animals (or whatever the hell they do with them).
On a somewhat related note, is it just me or are those Build-a-Bear commercials the weirdest fucking things ever? I think they easily replace the "My Girl"-singing dickheads from the Little Debbie commercials as the most irritating ads on the air.
In the Build-a-Bear spot, a rather jittery-looking girl is riding in a car with her mother. The girl is clutching a teddy bear for dear life and the mother asks if she's nervous. This dramatic setup led me to believe that perhaps the poor wee girl was about to undergo invasive surgery or maybe meet her birth mother for the first time. However, it turns out she's on her way to a ballet recital. It's rather incongruous if you ask moi, but whatever.
So then the camera cuts to the girl getting ready to perform with her dance troupe. And just as the stage fright is about to set in, she mashes her eyes closed and envisions an empty auditorium save for her special teddy bear in the front row. Doing so infuses her with enough courage and self-esteem to get through the routine with flying colors.
WTF?!?!?! Is this healthy behavior? No, child, don't look to your HUMAN mother for support and strength. Instead, reach out to a inanimate sack of allergens wearing a frilly dress. Hmmm... it looks to me like this little girl is a plushie in the making! This is where it starts, people.
And this is where I'll stop. Good night!
posted by curly mcdimple @ 6:45 PM :: permalink :: ::
