mmm...cake

So I went to my first-ever CAKE party with The Lovely Jess last night. I'm exhausted this morning and sound like I gargled with gravel but damn, I enjoyed myself. Lez Zeppelin and Apocalypstik headlined and they both KICKED MY ASS. If that wasn't enough, there were GORGEOUS women dancing on platforms and dry-humping each other while wearing nothing more than sexy undies. Whenever I go to an establishment or event such as this, I can't help but get a brief pang of "What would my mother think?" But I quickly got over it last night and resumed my voracious ogling.

Jess was stroked and fondled by more than one party-goer but sadly, I got no play. Someone mistook me for a friend but that was about it. No matter, I was focused on the scantily-clad dancers anyway. I had a wad of Ones in my pocket and was ready to distribute them but when all was said and done, I chickened out. I simply could not approach the lovely ladies and show my approval. Two of them smiled at me but I immediately blushed and got all shy, dammit. I hate being shy. It sucks. Sucks I tell you! However, next time, I'm going to drink wine 'cause it makes me all fearless and affectionate and crap. Jess, don't let me drink beer at the next one! Kindly ply me with vino and let's hope for the best.