bad moods and boogers

I'm a tad cranky this morning because I was at work until about 9:30 last night. I've got the bags under my eyes and the puss on my face to prove it. Two women on the subway this morning were WAY too chipper for my taste so they felt the business end of one of my patented dirty looks. They came THIS close to getting a snotty shushing by Yours Truly. I abstained and dug my nose further into my Daily News and managed to tune them out.

I got to work and went to the pantry to get some coffee. I reached into the fridge and the only container of half-and-half remaining was sitting on the shelf open. Open as in the person who used it before me didn't close it. Ewwwwwwww. I have serious issues with milk and all byproducts to begin with. I feel like milk is a magnet to pick up aromas and tastes of its fridge neighbors. Leaving the top open is just an invitation to make it taste like someone's leftover tuna fish sandwich. It makes me livid. I'm guessing this is the same type of person who drinks straight out of the carton at home. Don't even get me started on that. Sharing milk products is just gross. I feel very strongly about this. In fact, I've adopted my younger sister's "no dairy share" policy. Want to lick her ice cream cone? No way. Sip her milkshake? You're out of luck. I'm the same way. I'll buy you an ice cream cone or a milkshake of your own but you can't pollute mine. We both feel that milk leaves residue in one's mouth and it can easily be transferred back to whatever you're sipping or gnawing on. Ack! I have to stop talking about it before I hurl.

So my morning wasn't going so well... until I checked my site stats. No longer are people searching for Toni Senecal's rack. Today, someone arrived at my site by Googling "booger eating moron." This makes me so happy. Mucus, when used in a put down, is hilarious. When someone else's snot (or the beginnings of it at least) makes its way onto my chocolate-vanilla twist (in a waffle cone), however, it's grounds for an ass-kicking.