at the movies
After a busy, sun-soaked weekend (complete with stupid-looking, random splotches of sunburn where I missed with the SPF), I decided to just hang today. I didn't have anything planned which at first was a nice change of pace. By 11:30 am, it was intolerable and I was bored to tears. So I got on the phone to my dear friend Christina and we hatched a plan to see a movie. Our theater of choice wasn't showing anything we wanted to see/already haven't seen. It's a great theater in that it's small and is usually pretty selective with the movies it shows. Imagine my surprise when White Chicks was on the marquee.
With much hesitation and chagrin, we decided to go the behemoth movie theater that I've managed to avoid in the two years I've lived in this neighborhood. At first glance, I could just tell that it was one of those theaters where it's required, as my friend Carolynn says, to come armed with a "a distinctive laugh and a catchphrase." In order to survive in this atmosphere, you have to be quick with an "Oh no she didn't!" or some other attitude-fueled directive or exclamation. You must punctuate this with a cackling or hissing laugh. I also avoided this theater because Good Neighbor warned me of its size. He said he expected a Sherpa to accompany him and carry his popcorn as he made his endless ascent.
He was not kidding. Our movie was on Level 11!!! I think Macy's has fewer escalators than this movie theater. I needed a few hits of oxygen at that elevation. Even worse, the last stop for popcorn apparently is on the 5th Level. Bastards. I need something akin to a salt lick with my movie viewing but there wasn't time go down the 6 floors. Where's that Sherpa when you need him?
So we saw Dodgeball. I am not ashamed. I enjoyed it. It was as ridiculous as I expected it to be but damn, it was funny. That Ben Stiller just cracks my shit up. And Vince Vaughn is just... just... wooo! is it getting hot in here? I've had a mad crush on that guy since Swingers.
There were parts that were dumb and rather obvious but it was good for a few giggles on a hot, summer afternoon. There will NEVER be a day when I don't think it's funny to see someone get hit in the face, ass or nuts by something. Sorry people but that's comedy. The sound effect of the rubbery ball bouncing violently off of flesh just added to my hysterics.
And yes, there were a few people in the theater who talked back to the screen. Ew and they clapped at certain parts. I hate that. I realize I'm cranky and cynical but that sort of shit just makes me uncomfortable. It's also the behavior that the movie makers predict. They are trying to push buttons and the audience obliges. Bunch of sheep. They no doubt are the same ones who hoot and holler when a character toting a sawed-off shotgun says something like, "Eat lead, mothafucka!" before offing one of the bad guys in [insert any predictable action movie of your choice.]
The previews before this movie were atrocious. Can someone please tell Will Smith to just stop making the same movie over and over again? Or maybe just stop altogether. That could work too. I mean, doesn't he say, "Aw, hell no!" in like all of them? I, Robot looks ridiculous. And that name! Ack!! I blush for all associated with this film.
Then there was a preview for a movie about a pyramid submerged under 2000 feet of ice in Antartica. There are creatures from outerspace living in it or whatever and I swear, they stole the props from the movie Alien. They look exactly the same -- bony and gruesome with lots of gelatinous goo dripping from big, fangy teeth. Ha ha ha. Big fangy teeth. I just visualized John Cleese's dire warning to the seekers of the Holy Grail to beware the bunny rabbit. "That is not an ordinary rabbit...'tis the most foul, cruel and bad-tempered thing you ever set eyes on." The gesture he makes with his fingers to denote sharp teeth just kills me each time.
Um, yeah... I'm one of those people -- I readily quote from Monty Python films. How can you not? It's just brilliant: "All right! I am the Messiah... now, fuck off!" Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh no he didn't! ::snap snap::
With much hesitation and chagrin, we decided to go the behemoth movie theater that I've managed to avoid in the two years I've lived in this neighborhood. At first glance, I could just tell that it was one of those theaters where it's required, as my friend Carolynn says, to come armed with a "a distinctive laugh and a catchphrase." In order to survive in this atmosphere, you have to be quick with an "Oh no she didn't!" or some other attitude-fueled directive or exclamation. You must punctuate this with a cackling or hissing laugh. I also avoided this theater because Good Neighbor warned me of its size. He said he expected a Sherpa to accompany him and carry his popcorn as he made his endless ascent.
He was not kidding. Our movie was on Level 11!!! I think Macy's has fewer escalators than this movie theater. I needed a few hits of oxygen at that elevation. Even worse, the last stop for popcorn apparently is on the 5th Level. Bastards. I need something akin to a salt lick with my movie viewing but there wasn't time go down the 6 floors. Where's that Sherpa when you need him?
So we saw Dodgeball. I am not ashamed. I enjoyed it. It was as ridiculous as I expected it to be but damn, it was funny. That Ben Stiller just cracks my shit up. And Vince Vaughn is just... just... wooo! is it getting hot in here? I've had a mad crush on that guy since Swingers.
There were parts that were dumb and rather obvious but it was good for a few giggles on a hot, summer afternoon. There will NEVER be a day when I don't think it's funny to see someone get hit in the face, ass or nuts by something. Sorry people but that's comedy. The sound effect of the rubbery ball bouncing violently off of flesh just added to my hysterics.
And yes, there were a few people in the theater who talked back to the screen. Ew and they clapped at certain parts. I hate that. I realize I'm cranky and cynical but that sort of shit just makes me uncomfortable. It's also the behavior that the movie makers predict. They are trying to push buttons and the audience obliges. Bunch of sheep. They no doubt are the same ones who hoot and holler when a character toting a sawed-off shotgun says something like, "Eat lead, mothafucka!" before offing one of the bad guys in [insert any predictable action movie of your choice.]
The previews before this movie were atrocious. Can someone please tell Will Smith to just stop making the same movie over and over again? Or maybe just stop altogether. That could work too. I mean, doesn't he say, "Aw, hell no!" in like all of them? I, Robot looks ridiculous. And that name! Ack!! I blush for all associated with this film.
Then there was a preview for a movie about a pyramid submerged under 2000 feet of ice in Antartica. There are creatures from outerspace living in it or whatever and I swear, they stole the props from the movie Alien. They look exactly the same -- bony and gruesome with lots of gelatinous goo dripping from big, fangy teeth. Ha ha ha. Big fangy teeth. I just visualized John Cleese's dire warning to the seekers of the Holy Grail to beware the bunny rabbit. "That is not an ordinary rabbit...'tis the most foul, cruel and bad-tempered thing you ever set eyes on." The gesture he makes with his fingers to denote sharp teeth just kills me each time.
Um, yeah... I'm one of those people -- I readily quote from Monty Python films. How can you not? It's just brilliant: "All right! I am the Messiah... now, fuck off!" Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh no he didn't! ::snap snap::
posted by curly mcdimple @ 9:41 PM :: permalink :: ::
