what would I do without bunim/murray productions?
It's criminal how much enjoyment I derive from an episode of The Real World. It's positively shameful how I can -- and will -- talk about the cast as if I actually know them. Regardless, I am an unabashed fan of the show as well as its sibling, Road Rules (new season starts next week. Score!!) Hell, I practically cream when a new RW/RR challenge starts.
I'm always ready to discuss this cultural phenomenon but oddly enough, some people shy away from this conversation. Others foam at the mouth at the mere mention and wholeheartedly join me in dissecting each episode. If you're in the former category, be gone. For the rest, this is for you...
In tonight's episode, Frankie, the chick with cystic fibrosis, just left the show. I have mixed feelings about this. She was a total train wreck and I often found myself yelling (yes, yelling) at her but she was SO entertaining. I liked hating her. She follows in the unsympathetic, disease-ridden footsteps of Tonya from the Chicago cast. As you'll recall, she was the twit with the fake boobs and the ailing kidneys. Because of their medical histories, these people had an instant "awwwww" factor but their ill-tempered angst quickly frittered away my sympathy. But I liked having them there because they were the perfect foil for the rest of the cast. One of my favorite Real World moments was the freestyled ode to kidney stones Tonya's roommates sang (in her absence, natch). That's good television. I mean, I guess for the remainder of the season I can point and laugh at Robin's fake boobs and hope that she goes off on another Marine in a drunken fit but I think she's trying to clean up her act. Dumb bitch.
I'm also bummed that Real World/Road Rules: The Inferno wrapped for the season. I'm anxiously awaiting the next faceoff. If by chance the suits at MTV come across my humble blog, I beseech them to put a moratorium on the return of several cast members. If I had my way, Veronica, Coral, Mike, Abram, Syrus and Julie the Mormon would never have another crack at the 150 Gs ever again.
No offense to Syrus because he seems like a nice enough fella but seriously dude, just hang it up. You obviously scored a lot with the ladies while in Boston but you didn't put too many points on the board this last go-round.
Timmy is getting close to sad status but he's just so damn cute and funny that I'll give him a pass. I'll also give him my number if he's interested. I would hop back on the hetero side of the fence for that boy. He's tasty.
Don't even get me started on Coral. Girlfrien', if you're going talk that much smack, please don't get sidelined by a spider bite. It just looks bad. And don't pick a fight with a Mormon. Again, it doesn't do much for your self-proclaimed bad ass-itude. I'm sure there's a scrappy Presbyterian in the bunch or maybe even a disgruntled Seventh Day Adventist you can throw down with but step away from the Church of Latter Day Saints. There's no cred to be established there.
But that doesn't let Julie off the hook either. She's a crazy bitch. I find her very uncomfortable to watch. I don't know if its the teeth or her just-barely-sane status but she seriously creeps me out. I worry about her.
Which brings me to Abram. I hate you. I had your back when that fat load, Donell, got you kicked off the show last year but frankly, you scare me now. I hope you get the much-needed treatment for your condition.
Mike, you're just sad. You speak SO SERIOUSLY of your responsibility and obligation to be a team leader in a competition that makes contestants eat milk and cookies and assemble dominoes while wearing skates. I mean, really... just listen to yourself for a second.
Veronica... I want to call you the worst possible word you can call a woman (you know... the c-word) but I just can't bring myself to do it. I can think it though because you're truly deserving of such a moniker. I seriously hope Katie and Trishelle double team your ass one of these days. Oh, and the fact that I'm siding with Trishelle of all people is even more reason to hate you.
Okay, once again, I'm starting to scare myself. That is all.
I'm always ready to discuss this cultural phenomenon but oddly enough, some people shy away from this conversation. Others foam at the mouth at the mere mention and wholeheartedly join me in dissecting each episode. If you're in the former category, be gone. For the rest, this is for you...
In tonight's episode, Frankie, the chick with cystic fibrosis, just left the show. I have mixed feelings about this. She was a total train wreck and I often found myself yelling (yes, yelling) at her but she was SO entertaining. I liked hating her. She follows in the unsympathetic, disease-ridden footsteps of Tonya from the Chicago cast. As you'll recall, she was the twit with the fake boobs and the ailing kidneys. Because of their medical histories, these people had an instant "awwwww" factor but their ill-tempered angst quickly frittered away my sympathy. But I liked having them there because they were the perfect foil for the rest of the cast. One of my favorite Real World moments was the freestyled ode to kidney stones Tonya's roommates sang (in her absence, natch). That's good television. I mean, I guess for the remainder of the season I can point and laugh at Robin's fake boobs and hope that she goes off on another Marine in a drunken fit but I think she's trying to clean up her act. Dumb bitch.
I'm also bummed that Real World/Road Rules: The Inferno wrapped for the season. I'm anxiously awaiting the next faceoff. If by chance the suits at MTV come across my humble blog, I beseech them to put a moratorium on the return of several cast members. If I had my way, Veronica, Coral, Mike, Abram, Syrus and Julie the Mormon would never have another crack at the 150 Gs ever again.
No offense to Syrus because he seems like a nice enough fella but seriously dude, just hang it up. You obviously scored a lot with the ladies while in Boston but you didn't put too many points on the board this last go-round.
Timmy is getting close to sad status but he's just so damn cute and funny that I'll give him a pass. I'll also give him my number if he's interested. I would hop back on the hetero side of the fence for that boy. He's tasty.
Don't even get me started on Coral. Girlfrien', if you're going talk that much smack, please don't get sidelined by a spider bite. It just looks bad. And don't pick a fight with a Mormon. Again, it doesn't do much for your self-proclaimed bad ass-itude. I'm sure there's a scrappy Presbyterian in the bunch or maybe even a disgruntled Seventh Day Adventist you can throw down with but step away from the Church of Latter Day Saints. There's no cred to be established there.
But that doesn't let Julie off the hook either. She's a crazy bitch. I find her very uncomfortable to watch. I don't know if its the teeth or her just-barely-sane status but she seriously creeps me out. I worry about her.
Which brings me to Abram. I hate you. I had your back when that fat load, Donell, got you kicked off the show last year but frankly, you scare me now. I hope you get the much-needed treatment for your condition.
Mike, you're just sad. You speak SO SERIOUSLY of your responsibility and obligation to be a team leader in a competition that makes contestants eat milk and cookies and assemble dominoes while wearing skates. I mean, really... just listen to yourself for a second.
Veronica... I want to call you the worst possible word you can call a woman (you know... the c-word) but I just can't bring myself to do it. I can think it though because you're truly deserving of such a moniker. I seriously hope Katie and Trishelle double team your ass one of these days. Oh, and the fact that I'm siding with Trishelle of all people is even more reason to hate you.
Okay, once again, I'm starting to scare myself. That is all.
posted by curly mcdimple @ 10:30 PM :: permalink :: ::
