damn yankees
Jess and I got a pair of tickets to the Yankees-Padres game this past Friday. Despite the stellar company I kept and copious amounts of beer and mmmm...nachos, the game itself absolutely sucked. My beloved Yanks were soundly spanked... by the Padres. Oh the humanity!!
Yesterday's lucky fans saw the return of David Wells and two, count them TWO, comebacks! We got to see the Yanks have their asses handed to them... by the Padres. Not only did they strand runners galore but their defense was sorely lacking. They made two consecutive errors by throwing the ball around the infield. It bounced off a runner and went into the outfield. Matsui scooped it up but his ill-fated throw to second bounced off the base and went... somewhere. I don't know exactly where because it was then that I hung my head in shame. Apparently, aura and mystique had the night off. It was painful to watch. All that was missing was a foul-mouthed Tanner kicking dirt and throwing his mitt with selections from Carmen providing the soundtrack. [Random Bad News Bears aside: Tanner provided me with one of my favorite put downs ever -- "booger-eating moron." It's hard to deliver with a straight face but its effect is unparalleled. Victims are simultaneously perplexed, offended and amused. Go on and try it. Trust me.]
But the evening wasn't a complete waste -- Jess got to observe me in a somewhat different light. As my former coworker she's heard me bitch about work. As my friend, she's patiently listened to me complain about, well, everything. As the person sitting next to me at a baseball game, she got to witness [insert echo] TRASH TALKING CURLY. While not as annoying as the dude behind us who commented on EVERYTHING (with bad breath to boot), I usually chimed in only after a pivotal play/out/error (with an astute, informed opinion if I do say so myself. This is where I earn my dyke stripes. I fail miserably on the Indigo Girls front but I more than make up for it with my baseball/softball acumen). For instance, I bitched out Posada for his aggravating tendency to field plays at home too far in front of the plate. He would need to be Elastic Man or Inspector Gadget to reach around and tag the runner with the way he positions himself. Basics, Jorge, basics!! I have full faith in the pitches he calls and he swings a mighty bat but I just assume the opposing team will score when there's a play at the plate.
I also tore Giambi a new one... repeatedly. I'm not happy with him. Tino Martinez was a fabulous first baseman and a clutch hitter (with a cute bum, I might add). Yes, he had his slumps but his well-timed homers and grand slams saved some pinstriped hide more than once. And did I mention he has a cute bum? The only reason I don't feel entirely horrible that he's been banished to the Devil Rays is because he originally hails from Tampa. I'm also pleased that he's back in the American League so I have a better chance of seeing him at the Stadium. I defiled myself by going to a Mets game at Shea when he was on the Cardinals. No one should have to do that. No one.
It's because I love those boys that I cannot sit idly by while they lose to teams like... the Padres. Ditto for the Rockies, the Brewers and despite their two World Series championships, the Marlins. It's not that these teams stink. It's more like, I dunno... who cares?
Disagree? Don't like what I have to say? Bring it. [insert echo] TRASH TALKING CURLY will be fielding all complaints. You've been warned.
Yesterday's lucky fans saw the return of David Wells and two, count them TWO, comebacks! We got to see the Yanks have their asses handed to them... by the Padres. Not only did they strand runners galore but their defense was sorely lacking. They made two consecutive errors by throwing the ball around the infield. It bounced off a runner and went into the outfield. Matsui scooped it up but his ill-fated throw to second bounced off the base and went... somewhere. I don't know exactly where because it was then that I hung my head in shame. Apparently, aura and mystique had the night off. It was painful to watch. All that was missing was a foul-mouthed Tanner kicking dirt and throwing his mitt with selections from Carmen providing the soundtrack. [Random Bad News Bears aside: Tanner provided me with one of my favorite put downs ever -- "booger-eating moron." It's hard to deliver with a straight face but its effect is unparalleled. Victims are simultaneously perplexed, offended and amused. Go on and try it. Trust me.]
But the evening wasn't a complete waste -- Jess got to observe me in a somewhat different light. As my former coworker she's heard me bitch about work. As my friend, she's patiently listened to me complain about, well, everything. As the person sitting next to me at a baseball game, she got to witness [insert echo] TRASH TALKING CURLY. While not as annoying as the dude behind us who commented on EVERYTHING (with bad breath to boot), I usually chimed in only after a pivotal play/out/error (with an astute, informed opinion if I do say so myself. This is where I earn my dyke stripes. I fail miserably on the Indigo Girls front but I more than make up for it with my baseball/softball acumen). For instance, I bitched out Posada for his aggravating tendency to field plays at home too far in front of the plate. He would need to be Elastic Man or Inspector Gadget to reach around and tag the runner with the way he positions himself. Basics, Jorge, basics!! I have full faith in the pitches he calls and he swings a mighty bat but I just assume the opposing team will score when there's a play at the plate.
I also tore Giambi a new one... repeatedly. I'm not happy with him. Tino Martinez was a fabulous first baseman and a clutch hitter (with a cute bum, I might add). Yes, he had his slumps but his well-timed homers and grand slams saved some pinstriped hide more than once. And did I mention he has a cute bum? The only reason I don't feel entirely horrible that he's been banished to the Devil Rays is because he originally hails from Tampa. I'm also pleased that he's back in the American League so I have a better chance of seeing him at the Stadium. I defiled myself by going to a Mets game at Shea when he was on the Cardinals. No one should have to do that. No one.
It's because I love those boys that I cannot sit idly by while they lose to teams like... the Padres. Ditto for the Rockies, the Brewers and despite their two World Series championships, the Marlins. It's not that these teams stink. It's more like, I dunno... who cares?
Disagree? Don't like what I have to say? Bring it. [insert echo] TRASH TALKING CURLY will be fielding all complaints. You've been warned.
posted by curly mcdimple @ 10:30 PM :: permalink :: ::
